Momwe Mungapezere Tanthauzo Pakudzipha Kwa Wokondedwa

Lachinayi pa Julayi 21, 2011, mwana wanga wamwamuna wazaka makumi awiri adasiya ntchito molawirira ndipo sanabwereko kunyumba. Thupi lake likapezedwa patatha masiku asanu ndi limodzi kudera lakutali lomwe likuyang'ana Sweetwater Canyon, chilonda chodziponyera kumutu, ndipo moyo wanga sudzakhalanso chimodzimodzi.

zatha bwanji pachibwenzi

Chaka chimodzi pambuyo pake, mkazi wanga adadzipha.

Amanditcha wopulumuka kudzipha, koma kodi ndili? Masiku ambiri, sindikutsimikiza kuti ndidapulumuka konse. Ine sindine munthu yemweyo momwe ndinaliri ndisanadziphe mwana wanga wamwamuna ndi mkazi wanga. Kufuna kupeza tanthauzo m'moyo wanga pambuyo podzipha kwakhala kovuta. Tsiku lina ndimamva ngati ndikuyamba kumvetsetsa za moyo wanga, tsiku lotsatira zonse zimabwerera ku chisokonezo.



Aliyense amalimbana ndi chisokonezo mdziko lomwe limawoneka ngati lopanda pake, koma kuzunzika kwa kudzipha kumawunikira. Albert Camus analemba kuti, 'Pali vuto limodzi lokha lalikulu kwambiri lafilosofi ndipo ndikudzipha.'

Mwanjira yopanda tanthauzo, kudzipha kumayankha funso lomwe likupezeka: kodi tikuyang'anira miyoyo yathu ? Kudzipha kumatipatsa ulamuliro. Icho chikhoza kukhala chinthu chokha chomwe chimachita. Kuti tithe kuwongolera miyoyo yathu, tiyenera kuvomereza imfa yathu . Koma zimafunikira zoposa kuvomereza kosavuta kuti tidzafa, kumafunikanso kukhulupirira kuti tidzapeza njira zomveka zoyendetsera zopusa za moyo. Kuti tikhale omasuka ku lingaliro lopanda pake, tiyenera kuvomereza.



Mwa kutontholetsa phokoso, kudzipha ndi njira imodzi yoyanjanitsira moyo wamunthu ndi kusowa chiyembekezo kwake komanso kupusa kwake.

Koma kodi ndiyo njira yokhayo?

Sindikuganiza choncho.



Kuti ndilandire udindo wanga ngati wopulumuka za kudzipha, ndipo kuti ndipeze chifukwa chokankhira, ndiyenera kupeza mphamvu zoyanjanitsa zopusa za moyo ndi chifuniro changa chokhala ndi moyo. Bwanji mupitirire kukhala m'dziko lopanda pake ndi kusatsimikizika? Ngati sindingayanjane ndi zopanda pake, sindidzakhala womasuka ku izo. Ndipo izi ndi zomwe tonse tatsatira, sichoncho? Ufulu. Mwaufulu timapeza mtendere. Chinyengo ndikupeza ufulu ndikukhala ndi moyo.

M'zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi kuchokera pomwe mwana wanga adadzipha, ndakhala ndikudzidzimutsa, chilichonse chosonyeza zopanda pake. Mkati mwa chaka mwana wanga atadzipha, mkazi wanga analimbana ndi mdima, ngakhale kufufuza njira zodzipha. Ndidampempha, ndikuyesera kuti ndimutsimikizire kuti pali nyali kumapeto kwa mumphangayo.

Sanathe kuziwona ...

Ndinamuuza kuti kudzipha kudzakhala komweko kwa iye, koma pakadali pano, ikani m'thumba lakumbuyo, sanafunikire kusewera khadi imeneyo. Ndinkayembekeza kuti apeza chitonthozo podziwa ngati zinthu zikhala zosapiririka, nthawi zonse amakhala ndi njira yopulumukira, koma pakadali pano, amafunika kukhala ndi moyo kuti alemekeze moyo wamfupi wamwamuna wathu, kuti apereke tanthauzo la moyo wake.

Munthu sangathe kufafaniza moyo monga choncho. Tsiku lina adabwera, tsiku lotsatira adachoka. Koma adalipo m'makumbukiro athu. Monga zopweteka monga momwe zimamuganizira m'mbuyomu, tifunika kuti tisunge zikumbukiro.

Chimodzi mwazinthu zodabwitsa zodzipha ndichikhulupiliro cha munthu amene akuganiza zodzipha kuti wasandulika cholemetsa kwa okondedwa ake ndipo kudzera mwa kudzipha kwake, adzamasula okondedwa ake pamtengowu, pamene kwenikweni, palibe chomwe chingakhale chopitilira chowonadi. Palibe munthu amene wapulumuka chifukwa chodzipha. M'malo mwake, amangomva kupwetekedwa mtima ndi kuwonongeka.

Mwana wanga wamwamuna sanafune kuvulaza wina aliyense podzipha. Koma iye anatero.

Usiku usanachitike chaka chimodzi chakumapeto kwa kudzipha kwa mwana wathu wamwamuna, ndinkachita mantha ndi malingaliro osalimba a mkazi wanga, koma adawoneka wolimba komanso wotsimikiza, akundiuza kuti atsimikiza mtima kuti izi zitheke. Amakwera masitepe m'mawa mwake monganso momwe mwana wathu wamwamuna adachita pomaliza kumuwona.

M'mawa wa tsiku lomwe adasowa, adachedwa kugwira ntchito, ndipo mkazi wanga adaseka pomwe mwana wathu wamwamuna adakwera masitepe chifukwa chakupuma. Adamuuza kuti sichinthu chachikulu, kupumula, kukhala pansi, kumwa khofi, moyo umamudikirira.

Inde, moyo umadikirira.

Zotsatira zake, zimadikirira kwamuyaya. Sanangokwera masitepe m'mawa uja, koma nthawi ina madzulo, atakhala yekha paphiri lamiyala moyang'anizana ndi Sweetwater Canyon mtunda wamakilomita zana kuchokera kunyumba, adapita kumalo osadziwika.

Kodi anali kuganiza chiyani m'maola omaliza aja, mphindi zomaliza, masekondi omaliza a moyo wake? (Kodi mungasankhe bwanji kuti ino ndi nthawi yokoka?) Kodi zinthu zikadasintha mosiyana ndikadamvera langizo lake kuti mupumule, mupume kambiri, sichinthu chachikulu, moyo nthawi zonse umatiyembekezera?

Mwinanso mungakonde (nkhani ikupitirira pansipa):

Palibe aliyense wa ife amene angaganize kuti moyo nthawi zonse umatiyembekezera. Tsiku lililonse, mwanjira ina kapena inzake, timadula mosadziwika. Nthawi zambiri, timakhala amoyo kumapeto kwa tsiku. Koma tsiku lina sizidzakhala choncho. Mwanjira imeneyi, tonse ndife opulumuka, tikuvutika kuti tifike kumapeto kwa tsikulo. Kodi timamvetsetsa bwanji? Kodi timapitiliza bwanji tikakumana ndi kusatsimikizika komanso chisokonezo? Nthawi zonse ndimakumbukira zakudzipha kwa mwana wanga wamwamuna ndi mkazi wanga, funso ili limandiyang'ana kwambiri.

Popeza ndilibe mayankho a mafunso awa, nazi zomwe ndasankha ndikuyenera kuchita kuti apite. Ndidzakhala wankhondo. Kodi kumatanthauza chiyani kukhala wankhondo? Zinthu ziwiri: kulanga ndipo chipiriro. Ndiyenera kufikira nthawi ina m'moyo wanga pomwe ndikukhulupirira kuti ndili ndi ufulu wokhala pano. Ngati moyo uli wodzaza ndi kusatsimikizika, zikhale chomwecho, ndatsimikiza mtima kuti ndidzakhazikika ndikuyang'anitsitsa, ndikudalira mphamvu zanga kuti ndipirire mulimonsemo.

Kupatula apo, ndi chinthu choipa chiti chomwe chingachitike?

Pachikumbutso cha mwana wanga wamwamuna, ndinauza mnzanga, bambo wa m'modzi mwa amnzanga a mwana wanga, kuti sindidzaopanso. Popeza ndinali nditavutika kale ndi chinthu choyipa kwambiri chomwe ndingaganizire, chifukwa chake, ndinalibe china choti nditaye, sindinalinso ndi chilichonse choopa. Kuyambira nthawi imeneyo, sindingakhale wopambana.

Zotsatira zake, komabe, sindinali wopambana.

Pamene masiku anali kupita, ndinamva kuti ndagonjetsedwa, ndikumakhala wosatetezeka komanso wofewa. Zinandivuta kupeza chifukwa chilichonse chopitilira. Ndinawonjezera kusokonezeka ndi kusokonezeka chifukwa cha khalidwe langa losasamala. Palibe chomveka, chifukwa chake ndidachita zopanda nzeru. Koma panali zotulukapo pazomwe ndidachita. Anthu ena adapwetekedwa, anthu omwe adatenga nawo gawo m'moyo wanga, anthu omwe amasamala za ine, anthu omwe adatero kugwa mchikondi ndi ine.

Popeza ndinamva kuwawa kwambiri, chinthu chomaliza padziko lapansi chomwe ndinkafuna ndikumvulaza wina aliyense. Ngakhale lingaliro lakukhumudwitsa wina aliyense linali lomvetsa chisoni kwa ine, ndimalakalaka kukondedwa komanso kucheza nawo, ndikudziwa bwino kuthekera koti sindingathe kudzipereka kuubwenzi wanthawi yayitali.

Pomaliza, ndazindikira kuti kuti ndithetse izi kudziwononga wekha , komanso kuti ndipewe kuyambitsa mavuto enanso kwa wina aliyense, ndiyenera kupeza mphamvu kuti ndipirire ndikamakumana ndi mavuto anga. Ndiyenera kukhala a opirira wankhondo, wamphamvu ndi wodekha komanso woganizira. Ndiyenera kufunafuna mtendere wamumtima . Ndikakhazika pansi malingaliro anga m'pamene ndimayamba kuwona njira yomwe ndiyenera kutsatira kuti ndikhale moyo wowona mtima komanso wowona.

wwe shawn micheals theme song

Kuwona mtima ndi chowonadi ndizovuta kwambiri kuzizindikira mdziko la chisokonezo ndi zopanda pake. Kodi timawazindikira bwanji? Sititero. Chifukwa chake, zili kwa aliyense wa ife kupanga malingaliro ake kuona mtima ndi choonadi. Tiyenera kuthetsa kusamvana kwathu pakuvomereza mfundo yosavuta iyi: kuwona mtima ndi chowonadi sizipezeka mu chisokonezo cha tsiku ndi tsiku, koma zimapangidwa mkati mwa aliyense wa ife kuti zigwirizane ndi zosowa zathu.

Timapanga zoonadi zathu. Izi ndi zowonadi zomwe titha kutsatira, zina zonse ndizopanda pake.

Aliyense wa ife ayenera kupeza mtundu wake wankhondo. Ndipokhapo pomwe atha kuyambitsa bata chisokonezo ndikupewa funso lokhazikika, 'Kodi timapanga bwanji moyo?' Sikuli kwa ife kuti tipeze yankho ku funso lachinyengo ili kwa ife kupeza yankho la funso lina: ndi chiyani kwa ife? Pokhapokha titakhala ndi chikhulupiliro mu chowonadi chathu komanso kuwona mtima komwe tidzatha kuyika chidwi ndikukonzekera kumenya nkhondo yabwino.

Chiyambireni kudzipha ndi mkazi wanga ndi mwana wanga, ndakhala ndikudziimba mlandu ndikudziona kuti ndine wolephera. Pazidziwitso, ndikudziwa kuti sindinachite cholakwika chilichonse, koma pa msinkhu wosazindikira , Sindingathe kupeza malongosoledwe ena chifukwa chake mwana wanga wamwamuna ndi mkazi wanga adamva kufuna kuchoka, kupatula kuti ndinawalephera.

Kuvutika ndi chipulumutso changa, ngakhale ndikudziwa kuti ndikudziwononga ndekha. Ndiyenera kudzikhululukira ndekha ndikupeza mphamvu mchowonadi china. Kuvutika ndi chowonadi chovuta komanso chosakhutiritsa mwanjira ina. Sindiyenera kutsimikizira kwa wina aliyense kuti sindinachite cholakwika chilichonse ndiyenera kutsimikizira ndekha.

Kuti ndidziwe kukhulupirika kwanga ndi chowonadi ndiye gawo loyamba lankhondo. Pambuyo povomereza chowonadi changa ndiyomwe ndidzayamba ulendo womwe ungandimasule.