Mukufuna Anzanu Angati Mmoyo Wanu?

Kodi anthu wamba amakhala ndi abwenzi angati pamoyo wawo wonse?

Ndi angati omwe mukufuna nthawi iliyonse kuti mukhale osangalala?

Palibe yankho lachindunji la mafunso amenewa.





Mwina mwamvapo kuti ndi 150 (imeneyo ndi nambala ya Dunbar yomwe tikambirane posachedwa), kapena ina ...

… Koma iyi si yankho lokwaniritsa kwathunthu.



Chowonadi ndi ichi: kuchuluka kwa abwenzi omwe mukufunikira pakadali pano komanso pamoyo wanu wonse ndi chiwerengero cha anzanu omwe mumakhala nawo.

Zomwe zili 'zokwanira' kwa inu mwina ndizocheperako kapena zochulukirapo kwa wina.

Ndipo chiwerengero 'chokwanira' chikuyenera kusintha kutengera gawo lomwe muli.



Ngati mukuda nkhawa kuti mulibe anzanu ambiri momwe mungathere, dzifunseni ngati izi ndizodandaula zenizeni kusungulumwa kapena chifukwa mumakhulupirira - kapena mwauzidwa - kuti mukufuna zambiri.

Anthu atha kukhala moyo wachimwemwe komanso wamtendere wokhala ndi bwalo lamkati laling'ono.

Ndipo anthu amatha kukhala moyo wosasangalala ngakhale ali ndi bwalo lalikulu kwambiri.

Chifukwa chake tifufuze pang'ono kuti tipeze abwenzi angati omwe ali nambala yoyenera kwa inu.

Nambala ya Dunbar

Pambuyo pophunzira kukula kwa ubongo wamunthu mzaka za m'ma 1990, katswiri wazachikhalidwe Dr. Robin Dunbar adazindikira kuti pali malire pa kuchuluka kwa anthu omwe titha kukhalabe ndiubwenzi wabwino.

Chiwerengerocho ndi 148, ngakhale nthawi zambiri chimakhala chokwanira mpaka 150 kuti chikhale chosavuta.

Mawu ofunikira apa ndi watanthauzo.

Mutha kudziwa mayina ndi nkhope za anthu ambiri kuposa izi, koma sizokayikitsa kuti mungalumikizane kwenikweni ndi ambiri aiwo.

Koma Dunbar tsopano yapita kukafufuza momwe kuyandikira kwamalingaliro kumakhudzira momwe titha kugawa zolumikizira izi za 150.

Akuti mwina mulibe anthu opitilira 5 pazosankha zanu zoyambirira - malo anu ochezera.

Kutengera ndi komwe muli m'moyo wanu, osanjikiza awa atha kukhala makolo, abale, bwenzi, kapena abwenzi apamtima.

Mutha kukhala ndi kulumikizana kwapafupifupi 10 omwe mumawona pafupipafupi komanso omwe mumawakonda. Izi zikhoza kukhala abwenzi abwino kapena abale.

Gawo lotsatirali lili ndi anthu ena 35 omwe mumalumikizana nawo nthawi zambiri ndipo angaganize zokawayitanira kumwambo wapadera monga tsiku lanu lobadwa.

Ndiye pali anthu 100 omwe mumawadziwa bwino, koma omwe simungathe kuwawona ochulukirapo.

Dunbar ndi anzawo afufuza kulondola kwa manambalawa pogwiritsa ntchito njira zosiyanasiyana ndipo zikuwoneka kuti zikuunjikana pafupifupi.

ndimamukonda kapena lingaliro la iye

Koma pano pali malire ku Nambala ya Dunbar: ndi phindu lanji kuchuluka kwapakati pomwe munthu ngati inu akufunsa kuti akufuna abwenzi angati?

Ndiye kodi pali phindu lililonse m'magawo awa?

Inde, inde.

Chomwe chiri chofunikira kwambiri ndi zigawo ziwiri zoyambazo: malo anu oyera amkati ndi anzanu apamtima.

Anthu 15 awa ndi omwe angakupatseni chuma chambiri cham'maganizo chomwe mumafunikira pamoyo wanu.

Kuzochitika zosiyanasiyana komanso munthawi zosiyanasiyana, anthuwa amakupatsani mwayi wolumikizana komanso mwayi waukulu wosangalala.

Awa ndi anthu omwe mudzatembenukire kwa iwo kuti akuthandizeni ndi kukutonthozani mukawafuna.

Ndiwo omwe amatanthauza china chake kwa inu.

Koma pamene tikufufuza, chiwerengerochi chikhoza kukhala choposa chomwe anthu ena amafunikira komanso ochepera momwe ena angafunire.

Khalidwe Lanu Lofunika

Anthu ena amakonda mtendere ndi bata.

Zina zimakula bwino pakati paphokoso.

Anthu ena okhutira kungokhala ndikukhala.

Ena amafunika kuti nthawi zonse azichita zinazake.

Anthu ena amakonda nthawi imodzi ndi omwe amawakonda.

Ena amakonda kusonkhanitsa aliyense pamsonkhano umodzi waukulu.

Ngakhale ndizochulukirapo, titha kusiyanitsa anthu awa monga oyambitsa ndi ovulaza.

Ndipo kuchuluka kwa kulumikizana kwamitundu iwiriyi komwe kumafunikira mu iliyonse ya Dunbar Layers kumatha kusiyanasiyana.

Othandizira akhoza kukhala osangalala kwambiri ndi munthu m'modzi kapena awiri m'mwamba, wofunikira kwambiri.

Otsutsa akhoza kukhala asanu kapena asanu ndi mmodzi.

Ndipo mgawo lililonse lotsatira, olowetsa anzawo akhoza kukhala okhutira ndi abwenzi ochepa kuposa momwe Dunbar akuwonetsera, pomwe owonjezera amatha kutambasula malire amenewo.

Pamalo otakata, pomwe Dunbar imawona anthu pafupifupi 100 pafupifupi, zimadalira kwambiri zomwe munthu amakonda komanso zomwe amakonda.

Kulowerera kwanu kosakhazikika kumatha kusankha kuti azigwiritsa ntchito nthawi yawo powerenga kapena kulima, mwachitsanzo, pomwe opikisana nawo atha kukhala gawo la gulu lamasewera lomwe limangobweretsa kulumikizana konse.

Momwemonso, ntchito zamitundu yosiyanasiyana zimatha kukopa magulu awo kukula.

Wotambalala atha kufunafuna udindo pakati pa gulu lalikulu, mwina pogulitsa kapena kutsatsa komwe amakhala nthawi yayitali akucheza ndi anzawo komanso makasitomala.

Otsogolera angasankhe kugwira ntchito monga kontrakitala wodziimira pawokha, kudziwana ndi makasitomala awo, inde, koma kucheza ndi anthu ochepa.

Kaya ndinu wolowerera kapena wotakasuka si mkhalidwe wokhawo womwe ungakhalepo pokhudzana ndi kuchuluka kwa magulu omwe mumakhala nawo.

Kutseguka , chisangalalo, kumvera ena chisoni, kuwona mtima… izi ndi zina mwa zinthu zomwe zingakhudze anthu angati amene mumawakopa m'moyo wanu.

Ngakhale momwe mumadzilankhulira nokha ndi kuthekera kwanu kutero pitirizani zokambirana itenga nawo gawo pakuwerengera kwa anthu ambiri mgulu lililonse la kuyandikira kwamalingaliro.

Mwinanso mungakonde (nkhani ikupitirira pansipa):

Muli Kuti Mmoyo Wanu?

Ndi abwenzi angati omwe mukufuna kapena mukufuna pamoyo wanu angasinthe kutengera gawo lomwe muli.

Ana aang'ono ali ndi amayi, abambo, ndipo mwina abale kapena alongo mkatikati mwawo.

Ngakhale ali ndi magulu ozungulira mabanja awo okulirapo komanso ana ena ku kindergarten, awa ndi ocheperako ndipo kuchuluka kwa kuyandikira kwamalingaliro ndikocheperako kuposa akulu.

Ana akamakula, mkatikatikati mwao mwina atha kukhala ndi bwenzi lapamtima, pomwe zigawo zina zimakulira ndikamakumana ndi anthu ambiri kudzera kusukulu komanso zosangalatsa.

Gulu lawo lachiwiri la anthu 10 limatha kusunthika pafupipafupi ndipo limakhala lofunika kwambiri kuposa anthuwa pomwe anali achichepere.

Kukula kwachinyamata mwina ndi nthawi yomwe tili ndi magulu azikhalidwe zazikulu kwambiri m'moyo wathu (makamaka, m'njira zomveka).

Anzanu aku sukulu yakale kapena aku koleji atha kukhala gawo lofunikira pamoyo, pomwe anzanu amapita nawo kuphwandoko mukamayamba ntchito.

Kenako njira yochepetsera kudulira anthu imayamba.

Nthawi yanu yaulere ikuchepa, kulumikizana kwina komwe kumakhalako kumafooka ndipo anthuwo amatha kuchoka pa Dunbar Layer kupita kumunsi.

Mwina mukuyang'ana kwambiri ntchito.

Mwina mumakhazikika kudzipereka ndipo ngakhale kuyambitsa banja.

momwe mungakwiyitsire wakale wamisala wakale

Mutha kuzindikiranso kuti kulumikizana kwanu ndi makolo anu komwe kudachepa ndili wachinyamata komanso kukhala wamkulu.

Mumasokera kutali ndi anzanu, anthu amasamuka, moyo umachitika.

Nthawi zambiri, mukafika zaka zanu zapakatikati, kuchuluka kwa anthu omwe ali m'munsi mwa Dunbar Layers amatha kuchepa.

Muli ndi anzanu ochepa, ochezeka ochepa, komanso ochezera ochepa.

Ndipo pofika nthawi ya ukalamba wanu, pamakhala mwayi waukulu kuti mukadachoka kwa anzanu ambiri pazaka zambiri.

Komabe, ngakhale abwenzi athu onse akuchepa tikamakalamba, anthu okalamba amakhala osangalala kuposa anzawo achichepere.

Monga nkhani ya TED iyi akufotokoza:

Tikamakalamba […] Timagwiritsa ntchito zinthu zofunika kwambiri pamoyo wathu, ndipo moyo umakhala wabwino, ndiye kuti timakhala osangalala tsiku ndi tsiku.

Ngakhale zokambirana za TED izi sizikunena mwachindunji, lingaliro limodzi lomwe mungapange ndikuti tikamakula, timagwiritsa ntchito ndalama zambiri mu ubale womwe umatikhudza.

Kupatula apo, ndi chiyani chomwe chingakhale chofunikira kwambiri pamalingaliro kuposa anthu omwe timawakonda ndikuwasamalira?

Izi zimatibwezeretsanso kumatumba awiri ovuta a Dunbar.

Magulu awa, omwe ndianthu ofunikira kwambiri m'miyoyo yathu tili ana, amakulanso ndikufunika.

Phunziro kwa tonsefe ndikuti tiyenera kulabadira kwambiri maubwenzi apamtima ocheperako kuposa maubwenzi ena wamba.

Kupitilira Kusintha Kwa Amzanga

Monga tafotokozera kale, anthu enieni mgulu lililonse laubwenzi wanu amatha kusintha pakapita nthawi.

Ngakhale mapangidwe anu oyera amkati amatha kusintha, makamaka tikamakalamba ndikutaya mibadwo yomwe idatitsogolera.

Ndipo popitilira pansi mumadutsa, ndikosintha komwe mukuwona.

Izi zimabwerera ku magawo ati amoyo omwe muli ndi zomwe mikhalidwe yanu ilidi.

Mwina mungasunthire kutali kutali ndi anzanu omwe muli nawo pano. Izi zimafooketsa kulumikizana kwinaku kukukakamizani kuti mupange zatsopano.

Anzanu atsopanowa atha kuyamba kuyandikira kwambiri ndikusunthira limodzi akamakula m'moyo wanu.

Kapena mwina muli ndi ana ndikupanga kulumikizana kwatsopano ndi amayi ndi abambo ena.

Chifukwa cha mgwirizano womwe muli nawo pa ana anu komanso kuchuluka kwa nthawi yomwe mungakhale limodzi, anthuwa atha kukhala otsogola pamoyo wanu.

Ntchito yatsopano imatanthawuza abwenzi atsopano ogwira ntchito ndipo, nthawi zambiri, kusintha kwa omwe mwawalemba ntchito kuchokera kumtunda kupita kutsika.

Chifukwa chake, mukuwona, pali zosintha zomwe zikupitilira muubwenzi wanu.

Zotsatira Zazanema

Dziko ladijito lasintha momwe timayambiranso kufotokoza bwenzi.

Kuchokera pa Twitter kupita ku Facebook kupita ku Instagram ndi chilichonse chomwe chikubwera, tsopano tikusonkhanitsa 'abwenzi' kapena 'otsatira' atsopano pamafakitale.

Izi zimabweretsa mavuto awiri okhudzana ndi anzathu omwe tikuganiza kuti tiyenera kukhala nawo:

1. Titha kuwona kuti anthu ena ali ndi abwenzi angati. Ngati tili ndi anzathu ochepa, zingatipangitse kumva kuti sitikondedwa.

2. Tikuwona kuti tili ndi abwenzi angati komanso ndi anthu angati omwe timakhala nawo nthawi yayitali ndipo timada nkhawa kuti anthu ena angavomereze kukhala anzathu mudziko ladijito, koma sitikufuna kukhala anzathu kudziko lenileni .

Ma media media amanyenga malingaliro athu kuti akhulupirire kuti tili pafupi ndi anthuwa kuposa momwe timakhalira.

Tikuwona zosintha zawo ndi zithunzi ndipo izi zimatipatsa zenera m'miyoyo yawo.

Timaganiza kuti timawadziwa.

Koma sititero. Osati kwenikweni.

Anthu ambiri omwe talumikizidwa nawo pama social media amangokhala mayina ndi nkhope zathu.

Atha kukhala kuti sanakhalepo ochulukirapo kuposa pamenepo, inde. Koma atha kukhala kuti adakhalapo chimodzi mwazofunikira kwambiri pagulu lathu.

Zomwe tikuyenera kukumbukira ndikuti timakhala ndi thanzi labwino pakati pamagulu apamwamba omwe ali pamwamba pa anzathu.

Ndipo abwenzi athu ambiri ali patali kwambiri potengera kuyandikira kwa malingaliro, kotero kuti sangakhale ngati abwenzi konse.

Chifukwa chake sitiyenera kulola kuti chidwi chathu chisokoneze kwambiri ndikukhulupirira kuti anthuwa atha kutipatsa mwayi wolumikizana ndi anthu womwe tikulakalaka.

Kubwerera Kukuyandikira Kwamtima

Munkhaniyi, tanena kuti Nambala ya Dunbar monga avareji ilibe phindu lililonse kwa munthu aliyense.

Kumene tidagwirizana ndi Dunbar ndikulingalira kuti anthu m'miyoyo yathu amakhala ofunikira mosiyanasiyana.

Magawo onsewa ndi ozungulira kuyandikira kwa m'maganizo: momwe timalumikizirana ndi munthu wina pamalingaliro.

Ndipo izi zimatibwezera ku zomwe tidanena zoyambirira za kuchuluka kwa abwenzi nambala yomwe mumakhutira nayo.

Mumafunikira anzanu ambiri momwe mungafunikire kuti mukwaniritse zosowa zanu zamaganizidwe.

Kwa ena, izi zikutanthauza anthu ochepa ochepa ndikubalalika kwa abwenzi abwino.

Ena atha kupeza kuti akufuna anzawo ochulukirapo oti athe kuwapezera zosowa zosiyanasiyana zam'maganizo.

Gawo lake lidzafika momwe mumamvera pafupi ndi munthu aliyense.

Kodi george lopez ndi chiyani?

Ngati inu ndi mnzanu mulidi abwenzi apamtima, mungawauze zakukhosi kwanu ndipo amakupatsani chikondi chochuluka chomwe mukuwona kuti mukusowa, mutha kusunthira anthu ena kuchokera kumtunda kwanu kupita kumunsi.

N’chifukwa chake anthu ena ‘amasowa’ ali pa chibwenzi. Akupeza zosowa zawo zambiri zomwe okondedwa wawo amakumana nazo kotero kuti samadalira anzawo kapena mabanja kuti akwaniritse zosowa zomwezo.

Koma ngati, ngakhale mumawakonda kwambiri, inu ndi mnzanu simuli pafupi kwambiri monga momwe mungafunire, mutha kufunafuna kulumikizana kwina kuti mupereke zosowazo.

Chifukwa chake, kungothamangitsa mfundoyo nthawi yomaliza…

Palibe amene angakuuzeni kuti mukufuna anzanu angati.

Simuyenera kumva kuti mukuyenera kupanga anzanu angapo.

Muyenera kungoyang'ana pakupanga yolumikizana yolondola pamiyeso yosiyanasiyana yoyandikira kuti mukhale osangalala ndikukwaniritsidwa.

Magulu anu atha kukhala ndi anthu 2, 6, 15, ndi 20.

Kapena atha kukhala ndi anthu 5, 12, 40, ndi 110.

Onsewa ndi olondola, komanso palibe cholakwika, amangoyimira anthu osiyanasiyana.

Pezani mtundu wanu wapaderadera waubwenzi - ndi anzanu ambiri omwe mukufuna.

Siyani kuda nkhawa zakudzaza gawo linalake.